+ I am still far from being what I want to be,
but with God's help I shall succeed.
+ I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate.
An artist neednt be a clergyman or a churchwarden,
but he certainly must have a warm heart for his
+ I see more and more that my work goes infinitely
better when I am properly fed, and the paints
are there, and the studio and all that. But
have I set my heart on my work being a success?
A thousand times no. I wish I could manage to
make you really understand that when you give
money to artists, you are yourself doing an artist's
work, and that I only want my pictures to be of
such a quality that you will not be too dissatisfied
with your work.
+ If I were to think of and dwell on disastrous
possibilities, I could do nothing. I throw myself
headlong into my work, and come up again with
my studies; if the storm within gets too loud,
I take a glass too much to stun myself.
You can't be at the pole and the equator at the
same time. You must choose your own line, as I
hope to do, and it will probably be color.
I am not strictly speaking mad, for my mind is
absolutely normal in the intervals, and even more
so than before. But during the attacks it is terrible
- and then I lose consciousness of everything.
But that spurs me on to work and to seriousness,
as a miner who is always in danger makes haste
in what he does.
I am risking my life for my work, and half my
reason has gone.
I certainly hope to sell in the course of time,
but I think I shall be able to influence it most
effectively by working steadily on, and that at
the present moment making desperate efforts to
force the work I am doing now upon the public
would be pretty useless.
My opinion is that the best thing would be to
work on till art lovers feel drawn toward it of
their own accord, instead of having to praise
or to explain it.
I tell you, the more I think, the more I feel
that there is nothing more truly artistic than
to love people.
The only time I feel alive is when I'm painting.
I want to touch people with my art. I want them
to say 'he feels deeply, he feels tenderly.'
The emotions are sometimes so strong that I work
without knowing it. The strokes come like speech.
It is not the language of painters but the language
of nature which one should listen to, the feeling
for the things themselves, for reality, is more
important than the feeling for pictures.